What’s a parent to do?

A scene from "Carnage" from Sony Pictures Classics

French playwright Yasmina Reza’s “God of Carnage,” which won the 2009 Tony Award for best play, has been adapted for the big screen and titled simply “Carnage.” The screenplay was written by Reza and the film’s director, Roman Polanski. Unlike the original play, which was set in Paris, the Broadway production and film are set in New York.

As the movie opens, children play in a Brooklyn park — and a boy who’s being teased by fellow tweens turns to face them. A slim tree branch he swipes through the air leaves another boy injured, and the film cuts quickly to two sets of parents attempting to smooth over the hurt.

Investment banker Nancy Cowan (Kate Winslet) and corporate attorney Alan Cowan (Christoph Waltz) are parents of the “bully,” while writer Penelope Longstreet (Jodie Foster) and wholesaler Michael Longstreet (John C. Reilly) are parents of the “victim.”

The Longstreets have invited the Cowans to their apartment hoping for some sort of resolution, but obstacles abound. First, Penelope’s fondness for melodrama and martyrdom. Then Alan’s inability to leave work at the office. When Penelope’s apple-pear cobbler doesn’t sit well with Nancy, things get messy.

Penelope cares deeply about everything — from the contents of her refrigerator to the plight of people in Darfur. Alan readily admits to not giving a damn about much of anything. It’s this contrast in characters, and the conflict it creates, that gives the film its bite.

Nearly the entire film, only 80 minutes in length, is shot in real time using just a single set — mainly the Longsteet’s living room. But kitchen and bathroom are sometimes called into service — as are bucket, blow dryer and bottle of Scotch.

Foster describes the film as “a comedy of manners.” Manners dissolve quickly into mayhem as marital spats and misunderstandings spiral out of control. The more civilized these couples seek to become, the more their savagery shines. It’s perfectly pleasurable to watch.

The movie feels faster and sharper than the play somehow. The dialogue feels funnier. The absurdity feels more plausible. The camera allows close-ups that just aren’t possible when watching a play performed on stage. And the movie’s ending has an unexpected twist.

Still, parents leave both play and movie asking similar questions. Were the bully’s actions justified? Should he apologize? What if the apology’s insincere? When can parents lecture other people’s children? How far does the apple (or pear) fall from the tree? Is being a “snitch” a bad thing? Should parents fight their children’s battles?

— Lynn

Note: Although “Carnage” is rated “R” for language, many parents will find it rather mild and feel perfectly comfortable taking their teens (though teens will be less amused than adults by the film’s satirical slant on parenting).

Coming up: More couples behaving badly, My favorite New Year’s message

“War Horse” on screen and stage

"War Horse" was a novel before it was a play

The “War Horse” story was first told in 1981 by novelist Michael Morpurgo, whose tale was adapted for the stage by Nick Safford in association with Handspring Puppet Company, which earned a special Tony Award for its “War Horse” creations.

The National Theatre of Great Britian production premiered in London in 1997 and officially opened in the U.S. last April at the Vivian Beaumont Theater in NYC’s Lincoln Center Theater — and went on to win five 2011 Tony Awards, including one for best play.

The “War Horse” movie directed by Steven Spielberg is based on a Lee Hall and Richard Curtis screenplay inspired by both book and play, was released in the U.S. just days ago, and is already being hailed as a 2011 Oscar contender.

I’ve seen both works with my college-age daughter, who shared my apprehension when learning that the story we so loved on stage was being adapted for big screen. The only saving grace for us at that point was knowing the story had made its way into the heart, and hands, of filmmaker Steven Spielberg.

Though we both enjoyed the movie, we were fonder by far of the play for several reasons. First, because the actors who performed in the live theater production did such an exceptional job of conveying each character’s depth. The play makes abundantly clear the full measure of dysfunction in Albert’s family, something that makes his loss and reunification with the “War Horse” Joey feel more precious and profound.

The scenic, lighting and sound design for “War Horse” on stage at Lincoln Theater Center was exquisite. All three designers, as well as the play’s two directors, earned Tony Awards. Despite the visual feast of “War Horse” the movie, we still favor the symbolism these designs conveyed over the literal depiction of war featured in the film.

"War Horse" was a play before it was a movie

We appreciated the fact that several elements of the play, like the bothersome duck who quacks up a storm while nipping at people’s heels, were included in the movie. The duck was funny on stage and screen, but it’s hardly fair to ask an on-screen duck to compare with a whimsical puppet creation operated by a puppeteer sporting a Scottish tam o’shanter cap.

Still, I found more humor in the screen version of “War Horse” — in which knitting needles and metal cutters get used in unexpected ways. The machismo of men is fraught with more comedy than angst in the movie, and plenty of light moments help to break up a story full of labors and loss.

Perhaps the greatest difference is found in the music. John Williams’ score for “War Horse” is no less magestic than those he’s composed for other works, but I found the simple violin and haunting vocals of “War Horse” on stage more moving — despite the fact that songmaker John Tams worked on both stage and screen versions of “War Horse.”

I remember “War Horse” on stage as a single strand of magnificent storytelling, with just a specific scene or two standing out from the rest — the glorious opening and the terrifying tank scene — so the play felt more consistent across scenes. But I’ll remember the movie for specific moments — some touching, others terrifying. The transition between farm fields and battle fields seemed more abrupt on screen, making me feel at times like I was watching two separate films.

In the end, I suppose, it’s all a matter of personal preference. Whether you tend to fancy stage or screen, the story at the heart of “War Horse” is gripping and gratifying. Get to London or NYC for the stage version if you can. It’s truly captivating, and something you’ll never forget. But see the movie, and read the book too. With each “War Horse” encounter, you’ll find something remarkable and new.

— Lynn

Note: Nominations for the 84th Annual Academy Awards will be announced on Jan. 24, 2012. I’ll be rooting for both “War Horse” and “The Adventures of Tintin.” Updated 12/28/11.

Coming up: Valley theaters bring classic literature to life

Update: The touring production of “War Horse” comes to ASU Gammage in Tempe Feb. 5-10, 2013 as part of the 2012/13 “Broadway Across America” season — click here for details. 4/15/12

Spielberg’s “War Horse”

Director Steven Spielberg clearly understands the horrors of war. The USC Shoah Foundation Institute he founded records the testimony of Holocaust survivors. His long list of credits include “Schindler’s List” and “Saving Private Ryan.”

Spielberg demonstrates these horrors again in the film version of “War Horse,” a movie based on both the children’s book by beloved British author Michael Morpurgo and the Tony-Award winning play his book inspired. The screenplay was written by Lee Hall (screenwriter for the 2000 film “Billy Elliot”) and Richard Curtis.

Spielberg describes “War Horse” as a story of the powerful bond between a boy and his horse. His family owns several horses, and he’s seen the love between child and horse firsthand. One of the film’s most endearing threads is all the people, of different nationalities, who face peril for protecting horses caught up in the war.

But “War Horse” feels first and foremost like a war movie, something parents need to know before deciding to take young children to see it. It’s rated PG-13 for a reason. People and horses suffer terrible fates. Think machine guns and massive tanks. Firing squads and grenades. Barbed wire and brutality.

War reveals our common humanity, something that’s beautifully conveyed in this film. When “War Horse” Joey is trapped, two soldiers from opposing sides work together to free him. When a girl questions her grandfather’s courage, he explains that there are many ways to be brave.

But the story doesn’t begin with war. Instead, it all starts with relationships. We see a teenage boy named Albert at home on his family’s humble farm, where his longsuffering mother endures uncertainty and ridicule wrought by his father’s drinking and lousy judgement. Their relationship generates one of the movie’s best lines — something akin to “I might hate you more, but I’ll never love you less.”

Albert’s mother is one of two parents in the film who share an important family belonging that proves pivotal in unexpected ways. Both items serve as powerful reminders that our histories, both individual and collective, never leave us. Deny them or embrace them — but you can never destroy them.

“War Horse” reminds us that history is made up of moments, of the decisions we make alone and together, of the choices that sometimes have unintended consequences. It demonstrates our drive to protect what we love in a world where love sometimes means letting go.

Parents will find several scenes especially profound — a big brother’s attempt to help his younger brother escape the front lines, a grandfather’s fireside reflections on the importance of home, a young girl’s innocent ride up and over a mountain.

Take it all in, then take it home with a renewed appreciation for the joys and responsibilities of the everyday.

— Lynn

Coming up: Comparing “War Horse” on stage and screen