Musings on the Golden Globes

First and foremost, those of you who decided to carry the gold (or yellow) theme into your evening wear need to revisit basic black. Ditto on folks with a fondness for forest green, which only works in the forest — or on sports utility vehicles.

Another fashion faux pas — evening gowns with wide clear strips down the center of the torso. Nobody wants to see a dress that reminds them of those weird clear bandages from the local dollar store. Don’t bother being revealing when there’s little to reveal.

If you’ve got to show some skin, try rocking the backless look like Jane Fonda, Jessica Lange and Claire Danes. And call friends ahead of time to color coordinate. More elegant pairings like Tina Fey in strapless raspberry and Jane Lynch in halter-style black would be lovely.

Snaps for Fey and Lynch on another front, by the way. They managed to launch the male body part humor before Ricky Gervais could go there. The self-congratulatory high-five was well deserved, and almost as delicious as Madonna’s retort to Gervais’ vulgar virginity humor.

Steer clear of tomato red lipstick, unless you’re Angelina Jolie — who was half of last night’s classiest-looking couple. Only Jolie could rock those lips while wearing a white gown topped with a similar shade. For the rest of us, playing matchy-matchy with make-up and evening wear is a no-no.

Props to young actors and those who love them. Jodie Foster made sure her two sons got some love from the camera, and the trio of young Modern Family cast members looked amazing as they dashed to the stage together while Sarah Hyland did purple satin proud.

Hooray for films like “Hugo” and “The Adventures of Tintin.” Scorsese and Spielberg remind us all that family entertainment and filmmaking excellence needn’t be mutually exclusive. And that genuine humility leads to gracious speechmaking.

Scorsese took time to honor the fine folks of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for their ongoing commitment to film restoration and preservation, and confessed that “Hugo” came to be after his wife said, “Why don’t you make a film that our daughter can see for once?” Francesca, he shared, is now 10 years old.

It appears that Harvey Weinstein, thrice dubbed something akin to “the punisher” during Sunday’s ceremony, has been promoted. Still, it’s been a while since the Old Testament made its way into a Hollywood awards show.

The cast of “Downton Abbey,” a rather drearily dressed lot in wartime mode, deserves a most tastefully-dressed cast award. Who knew any of them could get away with wearing bright colors? Their speech described the feeling of ‘spotting a promising child and waking up to discover they’ve won an Olympic medal.’

I learned some things during the ceremony that I might not have discovered otherwise — like the fact that Glenn Close wrote lyrics for “Lay Down Your Head,” a nominated song from “Albert Nobbs” that features music by Brian Byrne.

And while I embrace the message delivered by a woman from Turkey — for ‘peace at home and peace in all the world’ — I’m unclear about why she flaunted the peace sign wearing a white chiffon gown that could pass for pajamas.

When an Iranian filmmaker accepted an award for “The Separation,” he ran through a list of all the things could have said, then opted to ‘just say something about my people’– that “they are a truly peace-loving people.”

Politics always seems to find a way into these ceremonies, but this year’s remarks were mellower than most. Not so for the sexual inuendo, or blatant admissions if you consider Seth Rogen’s remarks about his own aroused anatomy when sharing the stage with a glamorous co-presenter.

“The Help” has taken plenty of heat, but award winner Octavia Spencer made her take clear, referring to Martin Luther King, Jr. as she noted that ‘all labor that uplifts humanity has importance.’ Heavy stuff for a speech that opened with “Nuts!” and shared fears of ‘falling off these high-heel shoes.” Way to rock the lavender, by the way.

A French composer for “The Artist” accepted his award using English translations kept on a piece of paper in his pocket until that marvelous microphone moment presented itself. But first he shared this — “Right now if I were to write a song it would be a tap dance.”

Madonna accepted her best original song award soon after, quipping that she couldn’t claim being French as an excuse for struggling with words. “This is a surprise” was followed by “um” times three — something grammar teachers likely overlooked once she changed “who I adore” to “whom I adore.” Can a coffee table early reader be far behind?

Married actors William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman sang a charming ditty ending with “It’s an honor to be nominated. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah” during their reading of the nominees.

Dustin Hoffman, who’s tied with Meryl Streep on my personal best actors list, thanked his wife and agent for getting him the rattling off nominee names gigs. The crowd shared a collective smile as award winner Claire Danes wiped her ruby red lipstick off his cheek before thanking her parents.

“Any fulfillment I have as a person and an actor I owe to you,” said Danes. Apparently she forgot to thank them her first time around, when she was just 15 years old and starring in “My So-Called Life.” Young actors, take note.

I was charmed by those who tried to pass Meryl Streep her eyeglasses after she’d taken to the podium without them. And her remarks as well — which thanked ‘everyone in England who let me come and tromp all over their history’ and noted that ‘we made this for 25 cents in five minutes.” Streep seemed to embrace fellow nominee Viola Davis from the stage, saying “I love you Viola, you’re my girl.”

A couple of gowns had me suspecting the women who donned them shop in Sedona. It’s really the only place one ought to be spotted wearing a purple muslin-esque gown with chunky two-tiered turquoise-colored earrings, or sporting a blue and white tie-dye number. Okay, maybe Malibu too. I’m told the latter gown was chosen by a toddler.

Parenting issues always find their way into acceptance speeches. One winner noted his mother’s insistence that another person would win, thanking mothers everywhere for helping us to be humble.

I loved watching Steven Spielberg offer a simple “Thank you to Kate, I love you” before blowing his bride a kiss. Another winner’s ode to his Kate carried more baggage. And while Snowy stayed home, Uggie was in the house.

I adored watching “The Artist” winner who’s clearly honored to be following in the film footsteps of his father, who passed away nearly two years ago. And seeing Michelle Williams talk about ‘all the bedtime stories that were read for six months in a Marilyn Monroe voice.’

Nicole Kidman gave no-show and award winner Woody Allen a bit of glammed up grief for not making it to the ceremony. Her waist was a no show as well, and I readily admit to having a serious case of hourglass figure envy.

It appears Gervais has a bad bit of talent, charm and good looks envy in the Colin Firth department, which he translated into tacky tales of punching little kittens. Also issues with Johnny Depp, the first dashing presenter, accused by Gervais of ‘wearing whatever Tim Burton tells him to.’

This year’s Golden Globes ceremony was a mostly-classy affair, with largely predictable results and a few real shockers. Now those of us who relish such things can turn our attention to the Academy Awards and Tony Awards. But please, no more jokes about golfing with body parts.

— Lynn

Note: The Academy Awards will be telecast on Feb. 26 and the Tony Awards will be telecast in June. Click here for more information on the Golden Globes.

Coming up: “Godspell” tales

This post has been updated with corrections that reflect that delicate balance of trying to publish on a topic while people still care. 1/16/12

Idiots & kings

I heard from Lizabeth, our 17-year old daughter, after she’d seen the musical “American Idiot” Friday night on Broadway.

Saturday found her doing her first college theater program audition, and getting a good night’s sleep knowing that other auditions await.

While Lizabeth was enjoying college tours on Friday, I went with our 21-year-old son, Christopher, to see “The King’s Speech” at the Harkins Theatre in Tempe Marketplace.

I’ve long suspected that our mother-son movie outings are merely excuses for Christopher to get his buttery popcorn and jumbo drink fix. He’s often too bored or restless to make it through an entire show.

But “The King’s Speech” was different. Normally I find the whole popcorn munching thing distracting, and get more irritated than I should with people who talk or text message during movies.

But we both had a steady bout of rapt attention for this one — which features truly exceptional acting by Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush, plus a rare glimpse of Helen Bonham Carter with tamed hair and matching shoes.

The film opens with the two daughters of a British prince begging for a bedtime story, something he hesitates to offer because of a terrible stutter.

A love of literature is evident throughout “The King’s Speech” — especially in scenes featuring Rush, who portrays a sort of speech therapist meets self-help guru who becomes this man’s closest friend.

The first time the two men work together, before the prince reluctantly becomes Kings George VI of England, this therapist has him read a bit of Shakespeare.

Later in the film, we see this commoner (an Australian) playing a guess-the-character sort of game with his two sons. Seems he’s also an earnest but rarely- cast actor — which fuels more than a few of the film’s best one-liners.

“The King’s Speech” is billed as a movie about a stuttering monarch, but it’s a great deal more.

It’s a tale of duty and devotion to both family and country, of challenging father-son encounters and strained sibling relationships, of the delicate interplay between what others expect of us with what we demand of ourselves.

It’s a very tender film, which would be perfectly suitable for family members of all ages had it not earned an “R” rating for a few scenes heavy in hot-headed language of the not so demure variety.

Sesame Street won’t be choosing any of these words when they feature the letters S or F, and I can imagine a young child seeing the film only to run home with a favorite new expression — “Oh bugger!”

The language is even more colorful in “American Idiot” — but I haven’t asked Lizabeth to share it with me. That’s why they make cast recordings.

As we chatted Friday night, Lizabeth and I discovered one commonality in the way we’d spent the day.

I shared that I’d hit McDonald’s for dinner with both Christopher and Jennifer, our 19-year-old daughter. She dreams of San Francisco the way Lizabeth dreams of New York City (which is the way that I dream of sleep).

Turns out Lizabeth had also eaten dinner there, which is a genuine rarity because she’s much more health conscious than the rest of us.

Our children share a common gift for sniffing out life’s many ironies, so it wasn’t lost on Lizabeth that she chose to eat at America’s premiere fast food chain before seeing a Broadway show that mocks our country’s drive-through mentality.

— Lynn

Note: Click here to learn more about the upcoming Academy Awards ceremony honoring the year’s best films

Coming up: Giant Peach meets Peoria, Children’s theater from jungle to farm, Picture yourself a playwright, How camp!, Childsplay goes to the dogs